‘A Bit of a Smash in Madras’ by Julian Maclaren-Ross

When Cyril Connolly, editor of Horizon magazine first read this story in 1940 he was struck by the opening sentence: “Absolute fact, I knew fuck all about it.” This would appear in print as the milder profanity ‘damn all.’ (Issue 6, June 1940) Connolly, impressed by the authentic tone and detail of the story assumed that that the author had spent time in India and was astonished to discover on meeting him that this wasn’t the case. Maclaren-Ross was a threadbare bohemian, barely keeping afloat in a world of booze, bailiffs and benzedrine… He was also among the very best writers of the 1940s, much admired by better-known contemporaries such as Evelyn Waugh and Graham Greene. When the latter praised him as ‘a writer’s writer’ Maclaren-Ross gloomily responded: “No. I’m a writer’s writer’s writer.”

In this debut story Adams, an army officer back in Britain after serving in colonial India, describes his involvement in a hit-and-run accident and the ensuing red tape, bribery, obfuscation and trial. His first-person narrative — gruff, entitled, rather stupid but supremely confident — is utterly convincing, and an impressive act of mimesis. Adams is wholly oblivious to the consequences of his actions and entirely callous in his complete lack of remorse. His breezy account offers an unwittingly ferocious critique of colonial rule and a powerful indictment of injustice.

First published in Horizon, June 1940, and collected in Better Than a Kick in the Pants; Short Stories by J. Maclaren Ross, Lawson & Dunn, 1945, and in Memoirs of the Forties, Cardinal, 1991, which is warmly recommended

‘A Bit of a Smash in Madras’ by Julian Maclaren-Ross

This story is worth reading for its energy level, which stops just short of delirium, and the writer’s knack for capturing the wild lexicon of 1940s slang. He knows how to start: “Absolute fact, I knew damn all about it”. In the middle, he mainly knows how to swear brilliantly and how to display the excesses of colonialism— let’s just say he is a very flawed narrator indeed. And he really, really knows how to end with a very sly “look to the camera”. The brilliant last sentence gives away the tawdry fact that, in life as in fiction, Maclaren-Ross was overfond of delivering bombastic monologues at the bar. But they don’t make bar-room bores quite like him any more, alas.

(1940; most recently in Selected Stories from Dewi Lewis, but out of print I think.)